It’s been awhile. I’m writing this post from a little hipster coffee shop with real clothes on and leisurely sipping an iced coffee. Sounds like a dream right?! While I was pregnant with baby J (that’s what we have been calling him) I made the decision to jump on the crazy train and put every ounce of effort into First and Full. I imposed deadlines and set goals towards monetization. I’m not where I want to be but I am on my way!

I feel more like “myself” than I have in three years. I was pregnant or nursing ( I still am, btw) for the last three years and as much as we don’t want to admit it, you start to see yourself a little differently after it’s all said and done. My body was borrowed, tested, and temporarily neglected. When my son turned 6 months, I started reinvesting in myself. I started running again, got my hair cut, made it a priority to wash my face everyday, and started to feel like Marissa, again. I also quieted the voices in my head making me feel guilty for indulging in myself (regardless of how small the sentiment) and started striving for what I wanted.

When I say indulging in myself, I mean it more than in the sense of an occasional pedicure; I mean I started wanting things for myself aside from my kids.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to work, or not work for that matter. There is nothing wrong with getting some help from a babysitter or even sending your kids to school because you NEED to.  There is also no shame in wanting to hoard your kids and sit up at night thinking of ways you can keep them at home for as long as possible. If we are being honest, I floated back and fort between both extremes. 

There is also nothing wrong with wanting your old body back and wanting to be a hot mama.  My body can push a double stroller at a decent pace on the running trails, it’s a little curvier, and I’m much more proud of it.

I wanted to create my own career and find joy in my abilities. There is nothing wrong with that. So if you or a friend need a little pep talk, send them this! Make the choice that’s best for you and your family and ignore the all the other voices. We complicate so many things in our lives that are really simple. 

For more on my motherhood philosophy and my Journey to making FirstandFull.com better than ever, check out my interview with Elizabeth Jones Photography. 

Thank you again Elizabeth for joining us in the kitchen and documenting some of my favorite moments with my kids!