First question: Can I still be considered a new mother? Joy will be eight months any day now but I still feel like I’m trying to figure it all out. I am finally becoming comfortable with the daily surprises having a young child presents. Since I can remember, I have always been a goal setter. I set goals for athletic endeavors and academic achievements; Why should motherhood be any different?
I’m referring to goals about what KIND of mother I want to be in 2016 and what KIND of wife I want to be in 2016. Since becoming a mother, my confidence has taken a swift hit. Dealing with an unfamiliar body, less time to take care myself, and guilt over the silliest things, I spend a good deal of time feeling less than. Well in 2016 that stops.
Some of my Mothering goals in 2016 include:
1. Better use of time with Joy.
If we are playing, we are interacting;
I’m not checking my phone, my email, or trying to do the laundry.
2. At least one hour a day for myself.
That means reading a book, working out, doing my hair, taking a bubble bath, or a nap. Instead of rushing to get things done around the house during her nap time, one of those hours is mine. This is important because Jeff works long hours and doesn’t get home till an hour before bedtime sometimes. By time he walks in, he’s tired and hungry, I’m itching for a minute alone, and Joy still has to be fed and put down. Hopefully, by taking that hour, I get a jolt of energy for the later half of my day.
3. Spending less time cleaning up after Joy and make more messes with her.
My good friend and I were talking about this the other day. We have loads of toys and books that slowly get pulled out and strewn everywhere. All day, I try to tidy up after Joy. What a DRAG. Next year, I will let the mess happen and vow to do a clean up after she goes to bed. If she wants to empty out all the blocks, well lets make a castle. If she rips out all the books looking for her favorite, that’s fine too.
4. Be more deliberate about our couples devotional and keep up the weekly date nights!
We start out so strong with the devotional and then along the way, it becomes less and less of a priority. Communication is always a spot for improvement and our daily devotional really helps with that. We get to talking about what really matters thus bringing us closer.
I have been so proud of our consistent date nights. We were lucky enough to find an amazing babysitter for Joy and usually get to go out on Friday nights but when that’s just not an option we still try to stay in and do something fun together. We like to cook together, play Mario Kart, and sometimes Jeff will even go pick up dinner and dessert from our favorite restaurant and we get to enjoy it in front of the TV catching up on our favorite shows. A date night is what you make it!
5. Finally, I’m going to work on GRACE.
Being a mama is hard work. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I grossly underestimated the decisions I would second guess and the number of things I would Google. I put her in the crib and let her cry. “Is she ok?” “What if someting is actually wrong…” “Should I go check on her?” My goal is to make the decision I feel is right for my child and my family and live with it. Kids are quite resilient and I am doing my best. I’m sure you are too! I will also make sure to extend that grace to others (including my husband). We can be so judgmental but who knows what’s going on with another person at any given moment. I know you can’t read my mind Jeff! I’m working on it 😉
All of these goals will hopefully allow me to be a better mom and a more enjoyable wife. I hopefully won’t be worrying about the messes, or be as haggard at the end of the day.
Another major goal I have is to complete the book, The Art of Tidying and get my home in working order. We have moved 3 times in the last 4 years and I admit, we have accumulated quite a bit of stuff. I hope to cut down on the clutter and keep only the things bringing us joy.
The first task in the book is to sift through EVERY article of clothing in your closet. I’m thinking I should finally give this capsule wardrobe thing a chance. I think i’m going to call my friend Hillary from my Fall Fashion Inspiration for a little help.
Do you set goals? Do you think these are attainable? I would love to hear what you have to say. Please leave me a comment below or find me on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.
HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE ALLEN FAMILY!
*Thank you for the images Whitney Summers!